…life lessons learned in different ways at different times…
I returned back to Base Camp after an adventure to Hurricane Island, Maine. I went for Instructor Training (IT), for Wilderness Medical Associates. The entire experience encompassed learning. Learning not only how to teach also, how to be taught…Growing from the life lessons, developing strategies for overcoming challenges that growth faces.
I missed the boat by 20 minutes…I left Pa with an extra 1.5 hours of travel time to accommodate for anticipated delay resulting from the precipitation situation…it was fucking RAINING!! Well, I grossly underestimated the toll that would take. Initially my planned route was 12 hours travel time, one way. Trying to balance expense, I initially chose that route to avoid tolls. After weighing all expenses, including but not limited to, gas/emotional state/mental status/tolls…I changed my mind and opted for the 9.5 hour route, which included toll roads. It fucking RAINED the entire trip. Rained so hard, people forgot how to drive.
Despite staying in a Motel, overnight, catching the 7:00a ferry to Vinalhaven, and then a short boat ride…I arrived at Hurricane Island. I got to class just after my fellow assistant instructors made their introductions. Whew, …I arrived confident and full of excitement for this opportunity.
…this was the sunrise view, from my outdoor shower…
On the third day I was pulled aside for “tutoring”, apparently I wasn’t performing as well as my confidence boasted. It felt like a punch in the gut.
My teaching experience has been situational. Teaching nursing students, in the ER, according to the patients and their symptoms. I have been praised for my teaching and recommended by nursing students to their classmates…”…you want to get Jess, if you can…” Teaching in a classroom, with a specific curriculum, developing lesson plans, was not the teaching style I was good at, yet…
After processing my “tutoring” and developing strategies to improve, I recovered from the ” punch” and finished strong. Showing signs of the potential that brought me to the IT. Gaining confidence of the Wilderness Medical Associates, that I can deliver the curriculum effectively along with regaining confidence in myself.
The lesson I learned is others perception of you/your actions, may not always be yours. I asked for feedback to identify actions and areas for improvement. My area of improvement was reflected to me as being “Defensive”. Where I come from justifying my actions is a necessity, NOT being defensive. Explaining why I did something, and how I did it… I’ve been shown, this justification is perceived, by some, as being “defensive”…defensive behavior doesn’t create a nurturing learning environment for anyone. See where I’m going here…???
I departed Hurricane Island, with an enlightened personal perspective…
Meanwhile, back in Pa, I was in the interview process for a second job. My 3rd and hopefully final interview, resulting in hire, was scheduled. The position was a remote RN position. It would’ve been perfect. To be able to work, on the road, from my phone, fulfilling my passion for nursing, supporting folks to live in holistic wellness…this was a “game changer”. Needless to say, I received an email, last evening, they chose someone else.
As I’m writing this blog post, I’m struggling with the feeling of defeat. Over analyzing my life and choices. Contemplating abandoning our adventure and settling back into stationary lifestyle. Am I trying to prove to myself or someone else that I have power? Am I
caught in an illusion that weakens my true feelings or minimizes my abilities? Is this the final “Crash and Burn”? Why am I focusing on the negative energy of not getting the 2nd job, instead of thriving on the positive energy surrounding my Wilderness instructor position and lessons learned on Hurricane Island…
…DID YOU KNOW… The lesson of dragonfly… ILLUSION “Some legends say that dragonfly was once a dragon… and that Dragon had scales like
Dragonfly’s wings. Dragon was full of wisdom, and flew through the night bringing light
with its fiery breath. The breath of Dragon brought forth the… illusion
of changing form. Then Dragon got caught in its own facade. Coyote tricked Dragon into
changing form, and the shape of its new body became like Dragonfly’s. In accepting the
challenge to prove its power and magical prowess, Dragon lost its power.” Dragon, now a Dragonfly, was unable to turn himself back into a dragon as a result of his loss of power.
“Dragonfly is the essence of the winds of change, the messages of wisdom and
enlightenment,…”
I’m reminded of the dragonfly that visited me, as I awaited the lobster boat that was to take us back to the mainland, after the IT. It landed directly in front of me, almost on my arm. Am I missing the message? The message of change and transformation has presented in nature so often. Sending me butterfly, frog, and dragonfly…all symbols of metamorphosis and transformation…inspiring feelings of positive change to guide me through the mist of illusion, bring about the changes needed in my life in order to reach my full potential, and stay open to the unfolding of my personal journey.
…Thank you to everyone for your encouragement and following along… I appreciate you all…my hopes are that by sharing my personal journey, I also share light with you…encouraging you all to live in your best holistic wellness…
Credit for “DID YOU KNOW”…Source: Sams, Jamie and Carson, David. Medicine Cards (Santa Fe: Bear and Company, 1988)